On the Bellas Podcast this month they made a challenge to journal every day for the month, and to write what you’re hoping for, for the new year. They were right on the podcast when they said everyone always waits till the last few hours of the past year to say what they wish for the next year; I do it too. So, I’m joining this challenge. I told myself as I was writing these that I wanted to make them different, more specific events than my birthday year hopes than my past wishes, and your usual typical resolutions.
I honestly didn’t think that I could come up with 31 things I wished for, for the new year. I’m terrible at looking ahead to the good things, but to my pleasant surprise, I did. I’m not going to share the whole thing, one because it’s too much and two, because some is just personal that I’d like to keep to myself, but I definitely wanted to share a few that I thought of.
Goals and Aspirations for 2020.
- The first one I thought of was putting pen to paper together. I used to fill notebook after notebook when I was a kid, and it felt so good (sorry trees!), and as I was writing things for this journaling Idea, I forgot how much better I like it than always typing on this laptop. I also feel as though my ideas flow better this way, maybe it’s just me, but I think it does. I’d like to do much more pen to paper writing that is not blog nor school-related and really get some new things written.
- Decide on my career. I have known what field I wanted to be in for a while. I’m majoring in environmental studies, I’m minoring in psychology and I’m pretty sure that I want to work with animals of the wildlife or marine variety but also quite interested in the ocean in general. See? I cannot make a decision. So, I need to hunker down, talk to my advisors and finally make the decision.
- Stop saying I’m sorry when I’m not sorry, or when I haven’t done anything wrong. I say I’m sorry about a thousand times a day because I want to please people, which is ridiculous because the other half of me doesn’t really like people. It makes no sense. And I can’t stop myself, I say it, think to myself why did I say sorry and kick myself. And I do not mean I don’t want to be polite; I’m so polite it’s gross, I just don’t want to say sorry when I’m not sorry just because I think it’s what people want to hear. I want to take some power back in the situation. There are other words and phrases to use and I hope to work on this.
- Turn off my phone. With my anxiety, my phone is my go too. If I’m in an anxious situation, a new situation, too many people, alone in public, whatever it might be, my phone is my superhero. I have to have it, I have to know where it is at all time, or I start to freak out. Sometimes if I leave my phone in my room as I go to the bathroom or even the kitchen, I get this urge something terrible will happen and I’ll have no form of communication to the outside world. That is my anxiety and I know this, yet, it is what it is. While I don’t see the day I go out in public without it, I’m going to work towards turning it off at home. Just for a simple 20 minutes. I tried it once a few weeks ago and I was freaking out a little bit, I had to stop myself from grabbing it off the nightstand when I was watching TV, it is ridiculous but real life. So the goal is something like 20 minutes on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon when I’m home.
- This one is quite ambitious, but I’d like to write a script. It’s obvious that I’m in love with movies, TV, and storytelling in general. I also love writing. I would absolutely love to be able to put a script together. I think starting with a show that’s already on TV or was on TV is smart because I’ve never done this before and I think that would be easiest. I also recently discovered that I could look up scripts online from shows and get a feel for how they’re done so research is a must. I’m excited about attempting this and fully prepared to crash and burn a few thousand times.
- Figure out more about ME! I do not know my father, nor have I had any desire too. What I do desire is learning more about myself. I’m interested in the medical side for sure because I hate the unknown of that, but I also want to know the ancestry and DNA part as well. And not just on my father’s side, but my mom’s as well. I know a bit on that side, but I’d like to do a deeper dive. It’s something that I’ve been thinking about for a while, and I’d really like to pull the trigger on it and learn more about some things that make me, me.
I feel like saying I’m going to do this can work for some people, but for someone like me, I need to say I’m going to work towards this instead because it makes me less anxious. I have a lot of hopes for 2020. More than I think I’ve had in the past or expected to have. I do believe that a new year can be a fresh start but I also believe that that wanting a fresh start does not stop your problems from following you, cause guess what? They will. But you can try to change the vibe of dealing with those problems and keep working towards better things. The six things I shared here are important things I do hope to do well working on in 2020.
So happy new year everybody, here are a few of my favorite pictures of the year!