I haven’t been handling this turning 25 thing tomorrow very well. I’m not sure why. I mean my body feels beat up like I’m 80 but other than that, deep down I know 25 isn’t the end of the world, so why do I keep feeling like it is? I still don’t know. Since my grandpa died I haven’t really cared to celebrate my birthday. I used to love it. I think I even stopped caring before my grandpa died. I think when you’ve had the life I had, and you’ve had so many people come and go in your life, family and friends alike that thinking about past birthdays don’t always bring up happy memories, especially when that list of people have gotten so much smaller… practically nonexistent. And while 364 days a year I’m good with that fact. People coming and going has made me stronger, a better version of me, and I love who I am becoming 99% of the time. But for some reason I never know how I’m going to react to my birthday. Maybe I’ll be in a really good mood, celebrating life, maybe I’m just going to go through the motions, and sometimes I’m in a god awful mood, and im the almost words of Meredith grey “ I’m afraid to be around the happy people because I’m afraid I’ll affect them with my sadness.” Maybe I’m extra anxious about my birthday this year because it’s turning 25 I guess that’s a milestone right? I think it is. Its a quarter of a century man!
But enough about the sappy feeling I get on my birthday the purpose of this post was to write down 25 random things I’ve learned before I turned 25. And I’ve learned a lot.
And so in no particular order let’s get down to it.
- No matter how terrible something seems, no matter how down and out you feel, no matter how badly you hurt, no matter how certain you are that you’ll never stand back up. You will. You’ll stand back up, you will heal and you will be stronger because of it.
- Never hide who you are. It took me a long time to grasp this. Love what you love, do what you love, and do whatever it is that makes your soul happy. If no one else understands it? Fuck ‘em. Always be you.
- Reading is a wonderful obsession to have. Maybe not so great for the wallet, or lack of space for those books, but it’s a wonderful, wonderful thing.
- You can make a plan, a SOLID plan, and sometimes that plan just isn’t going to work out. It’s okay, just don’t lose sight of the goal you have.
- Always keep fighting. I have anxiety, and it’s gotten worse over the years, but I’ve finally come to the terms with the fact that I’m going to have good days and bad days. I’m going to have days when I can’t image getting out of bed, and then I have days when you’d have no idea I even have anxiety. And it’s all okay. As long as I keep fighting.
- No matter how bad I think my voice is, sometimes singing is insanely therapeutic. So go ahead and belt it out.
- Going vegetarian, and this journey towards becoming a vegan is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
- I love nature so very much. It’s a quirky thing, how obsessed I am with the trees, the moon, everything. But I don’t think anything makes me feel as connected to the earth as being near the ocean. The Ocean is the most amazing place in the world.
- Sometimes It’s okay to be selfish. Sometimes you must look out for yourself, and that’s okay.
- Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Even if you’re the only one standing.
- Coffee is the savior of life
- Always be kind. Most of the world isn’t, especially these days, but make it a priority to be kind to others.
- Always trust your gut. Always trust the vibes you feel, good and bad.
- Just because it seems like everyone around you is married or has babies, and you can’t even imagine the thought of that being you right now, that’s okay. It’s not for you right now, and THAT’S OKAY.
- Sleep is precious. All those naps I skipped as kid? I regret them dearly.
- When it come to friends? Honestly less is MORE. I have a few co-workers who I’ve finally let myself see as friends, and they’re great people. And I have my one solid best friend DJ, who has stuck with me through everything, he could have left me a million times and he hasn’t, he’s the only one. I love him with my whole heart, he’s more than what I need, and I’m forever grateful for him. Our lives has separated us a bit but that hasn’t changed anything.
- Never stop learning. Even if it’s something simple. Always be open to it.
- Writing is the best. Even if I don’t know what to write, Just putting a pen to paper makes me feel better. And even though I’m typing this on a laptop, I’ll always choose a pen and paper over it.
- Not everyone has the same heart as I do. I’m very sensitive person, I feel everything deeply. I cry a lot. A super sad movie? I’m crying. Overly anxious? I’ll cry. I see this country going quickly down the tubes? I cry. A confrontation? I usually cry. It’s just how I react to things, even if I’m not necessarily sad. But I’m also done apologizing for it. I’m a sensitive person. Get over it.
- Yoga can change your life. Change your whole day, the way you look at life everything. Starting yoga has done wonders for me. It was the start of myself exploring a more spiritual side of myself. I’m not religious, at all, but you want to talk horoscopes, your favorite yoga poses or shakras I’m your girl.
- I wish that I could be more organized. I try to be. So hard. And sometimes I am, but most of the time I’m not. At least I try I guess.
- If you want to have a drink. Have a damn drink. My family has a lot of people who REALLY love their alcohol. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be like that, but restricting myself was miserable. So you know what? I’ll be having a drink whenever the heck I want one. BUT always remember you’re not 17 anymore, you probably can’t go as long, or as hard and not wake up feeling like death. So be prepared and be smart.
- Be kind to this planet. I’ve been insanely protective of this earth since my teens, and it’s become more advanced as I’ve gotten older. Do your research. Recycle. Be smart. It’s more important now than ever before.
- Cooking a homemade meal is better than anything out of a box or take out. I’ve found such a love for it in the last year or so.
- As a woman, always remember it’s ALWAYS better to lift each other up, than to ever try to tear each other down. Girl power, ladies, girl power.
I plan to try my damnedest to keep the good vibes flowing on Saturday. Do things that make me happy no matter how simply they may seem to others. I plan to take everything I’ve learned in the last 25 years, what I’ve listed and what I haven’t, and apply it to my next 25.