Motivational Music Monday…. yeah that sounds right.

Today’s post I’m wrapping up together Motivational Monday and Music Monday together. And why? Because Pop Punk Music motivates the shit out of me, in many different ways, and has for the last couple of years now.

Let me explain.

I’ve mentioned this a few time before but when my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, he didn’t want treatment, he just wanted to be with my grandma in heaven and be done with it. And on top of that he wanted to spend his remaining days at home, not in some nursing home or hospital. The only problem with that? He wasn’t in a position to really be left alone, at least not for long periods of time. So, I got laid off from my job, ( I was working at a daycare that my aunt owned so It was a much easier processes, to make this possible. ) and I moved in with him. He raised me, and as far as I was concerned this was the least I could do for him. Move in with him, take care of him, make his final months the best they could be. What they don’t tell you is just how hard it truly is to do that. Now I’ll go on with this story in another post some day, but I still get way too emotional, and I’m just not ready to share it, with anyone, people of the internet and so on. Anyways, doing this was not easy, and I learned that pretty quickly. It was easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’d also do it again… for him. I was flooded with so many emotions during the three months I lived with my poppy( that’s what I called him ever since I could talk). Music has always been an outlet for me, I get lost in the lyrics, I can tune the world out and so on. During this time, NOTHING was working. There wasn’t a single song, in my playlist, or in my usual genres that made me feel anything, and I needed to feel something. I was making myself numb to deal with my surroundings. Then it finally happened. I started listening to breaking Benjamin. It wasn’t the first time I had heard them, I remember listening to a little bit of them when I was an early teenager. After listening to some of their songs, I finally started to feel something. It was the Dear Agony album was what started it. Then I started going through where they suggest other bands and songs like the one you’re listening too you know? And that’s how I re-found my love for Linkin Park, A day to remember, All time low and mayday parade. From there I found, State Champs, Real Friends, and Four years strong, the song “One Step At A Time” still almost brings a tear to my eye when I listen to it because that one really got me. Over the last few years I’ve found the music of Neck Deep, Tonight Alive, Sincerely me, Grayscale, with confidence, like pacific, New found glory and a ton more. I’m finding more and more bands and song every day. And it’s always a beautiful surprise! The lyrics in the songs and the sound drew me to these bands, and as I used Social Media to learn more about them I realized that there is an entire pop punk community so to say that is incredibly amazing. The band members are just dang good people, the fans are really awesome and that makes everything even better.

I truly have to thank the people in these bands for making the music they did, writing the lyrics, singing the songs, and so on because I truly believe they saved my life. I wouldn’t say I was suicidal or anything but I was just so DAMN SAD, all the time, especially after my Poppy passed. It was like no one could possibly understand what I was feeling because I had not just spent my whole childhood with this man, but he raised me when he didn’t have too, never made me feel less loved than the rest of the kids in school, or anything like that, and now I had just spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week taking care of him. You can’t possibly understand that, no matter how hard some may have wanted too. But somehow I could put on some pop punk music, whether it related to the situation or not, and for those three minutes, I’d feel better, even if I was crying, somehow I just felt better.

It’s been two years since I lost my Poppy and Pop Punk music is as important to me today, as it was then. A simple car ride, blasting some neck deep or state champs through the speakers can turn my whole day around. Some a day to remember or four-year strong blasting in my ears at the gym. Some awesome real friends and linkin park while I’m cooking. I’ll listen to music while I do anything, if I can, and this music just makes everything better. I struggle with anxiety and honestly probably undiagnosed depression of some kind, and playing some of this music… it can turn my whole day around, or at least just make it a little more bearable… and not much of anything else can do that when I’m in a mood.

I owe a lot to this music. People say well it’s just music. But it’s not just music to me, and I know it’s not just music to a LOT of people, more than you realize. This music motivates me to keep going, to push through a bad day, a bad mood, and I am just so grateful that I found it when I needed it and that it’s always there when I continue to need it, whether it’s because I’m sad or I’m looking to have a mini dance party in my living room.

 

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Published by missraee

I launched Miss Raee in 2016 purely for a twenty-something girl who is trying to figure it all out, who loves to write and finally decided to share it. I’ve had a hell of a time figuring out what I wanted this blog to be, and I’ve eventually narrowed it down to that I want this blog to be ME, every weird, quirky, loveable aspect of me and even more importantly anyone who also sees themselves as that weird, quirky, loveable person who might love plant-based cooking, multiple fandoms including Star Wars, Supernatural, Greys Anatomy, DC TV, Marvel, The Magicians and SO much more. I found myself being an advocate for mental health, for animals, for the environment, and for equality. I’m a big believer in the vibes you bring, the power of music, and how important the storytelling of books and movies and TV can be. If I’m not on the blog, you can find me sharing selfies and nonsense on Instagram @/amandaraeex3 and live-tweeting and putting in my two cents on twitter at @/amandaraee_x3, so I hope you’ll tag along with me on here and my social media and enjoy all the weird, quirky things we all love.

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